36 Men Confess The Kinky Sexual Secrets They’ve Never Told Anyone

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1. I walked in on my sister practicing her oral sex techniques on a banana.

“I walked in on my sister practicing her oral sex techniques on a banana.”
WhisperingCuntFarts


2. I wound up in the hospital after I tried to eat her ass out in the shower.

“My S.O. had to take me to the hospital because I had a large amount of fluid (water) in my lungs because I tried to eat her ass out in the shower and the water funneled down her butt crack into my face and drowned me.”
gianmahko


3. I like to put things in my butt, but I fucked up my butthole and now it’s more difficult to poop.

“I like to put things in my butt, but I fucked up my butthole and now it’s more difficult to poop.”
HatKid-IV


4. My best friend is secretly my boyfriend.

“My best friend is secretly my boyfriend. We’re both guys.”
PiePirate69


5. Sometimes I dress in drag and go to Victoria’s Secret dressing rooms and jack off in the panties.

“Sometimes I dress in drag and go to Victoria’s Secret dressing rooms and jack off in the panties. I buy them of course (I’m not a sicko).”
Crispy_socks241


6. I was recently fucked in the ass by two black sisters with a dildo.

“I am a Caucasian male.

I was recently fucked in the ass by two black sisters with a dildo. The younger one was training my nicer online ‘date.’

They made me shout ‘Obama is my master’ and ‘I am a proud black man.’ I didn’t shout loud enough so cray-cray threatened to make me go out onto the hotel balcony.

It was horribly uncomfortable because it was a big dildo. I think people heard us and were weirded out.

I’m going to try to get together with the sane one, but fortunately the younger one won’t be there. She was a bit crazy.”
thrawaydnsthindxy


7. Virgin underage asshole, meet gigantic dog cock.

“I’m male, and when I was much, much younger. -7 year old then, 23 now.- I accidentally stumbled upon a porn site, with nothing but gay bestiality videos, and being a curious little twat. I immediately went and found my weird.. abomination of a dog (was a mutt, nothing but generations of large breeds that usually don’t go together) and stripped down, got down on all fours. And tried to get him to ‘make me feel good like the weird men.’ And after a few minutes of him licking at my ass, which.. upon reflecting on the act.. felt absolutely incredible. He mounted. Virgin underage asshole, meet gigantic dog cock. And for reference, imagine.. say, a soda can with a grapefruit at the base. I squealed like a bitch. Never did that again. Until.. like.. 10 years later. Taboo, but legal where i was.”
bushwookie01


8. Fapped in the Vatican City.

“Fapped in the Vatican City, yes, I fapped in the holiest place on earth.”
razorpigeon


9. Jerked off in a mosque.

“Jerked off in a mosque.”
kirlisabun


10. Routinely sucked off one of the guys on the football team behind the bleachers in gym class.

“Routinely sucked off one of the guys on the football team behind the bleachers in gym class freshman year in high school. Found him back there fapping one day (basically, what’s that noise? crawled behind the bleachers and saw a beautiful sight) and managed to ask if he needed help. 15-year-old me was very happy I did and we spent most gym classes behind the bleachers with him feeding me his cum. Some days twice in the same class.”
cajunrajing


11. I used to bang my aunt.

“I used to bang my aunt. I was around 25, she was 35 and hot as hell. We used to chat about stuff online and one night we were both drinking, and it turns out she gets uncontrollably horny when you talk dirty to her. She was wild. I don’t know if she ever told anyone. I didn’t.”
KevWill


12. I was banging a daughter and her mother at the same time.

“I was banging a daughter and her mother at the same time. I met the daughter in OKC and the mom in casual encounters. I woke up after spending the night at mom’s house to discover pictures of her daughter.”
threepandas


13. I made a makeshift Fleshlight using a cut-off Pringles can, two sponges, a condom and lotion.

“When I was 14 years old I made a makeshift Fleshlight using a cut-off Pringles can, two sponges, a condom and lotion.

It didn’t stop there, though. I wanted to reach nirvana so bad thad I disassembled a table fan, removed the fan blade and attached the Pringles can to the axis. My idea was that this would make that shit rotate on my dick in 120rpm, and believe me, it did.

After 20 seconds of action, the Pringles can skewed a but and my dick slipped out. The Pringles can then slinged lotion all over my walls, my ceiling, the cat and even my monitor.”
Cismonova


14. When I was beating off I accidentally squirted shit on the floor.

“When I was beating off I accidentally squirted shit on the floor. I panicked and had no idea on how to start cleaning. I ended up getting the carpet cleaner out, waking my mother up and blaming it on the dogs.”
Twerk4moneY


15. I broke my best friend’s toilet having sex on it with my girlfriend.

“I broke my best friend’s toilet having sex on it with my girlfriend. It flooded the room.”
derangedraptor


16. I was a very sexually unaware kid until my best friend’s babysitter made us an offer when we were 12.

“I was a very sexually unaware kid until my best friend’s babysitter made us an offer when we were 12: If we behaved ourselves all day she would show us her tits. I wasn’t that excited to see them but my friend was thrilled and immediately agreed. When she removed her bra, it was my sexual awakening; my brain shouted Eureka!

And when I say my brain I mean my penis.”
SageRiBardan


17. I Scotch-taped my foreskin.

“I Scotch-taped my foreskin. I was 17 years old and was unhappy with the size with my junk. I had learned in sex-ed that puberty stops at around 18, so I figured that I had roughly one year for my penis to reach full growth. I was never circumcised, so I came to the brilliant conclusion that the reason my dick is so small is because my foreskin had been stunting its growth all these years. I grabbed some Scotch tape, pulled back my foreskin, and taped it. I figured if I kept it pulled back for a few weeks, I would probably grow a couple inches to compensate for all the years it hibernating inside my foreskin. I kept it up for about 10 days, having to reapply new tape 2 or 3 times a day…It didn’t help my size.”
CharlieBrownShirt


18. Gave myself a money shot.

“In my younger years, I got back from a two-week trip oversees and my GF at the time gave me my first BJ. We were each other’s firsts so everything was a new experience and when I finally came she stopped going down on me moved my member away from her…and pointed it right at my face. Gave myself a money shot. Should’ve been impressed at how much there was shooting out.”
CosmicNoire


19. I was a virgin 19-year-old student off for the summer, and she was a 36-year-old divorcee with a hysterectomy.

“I worked at a landscaping place one summer. It was a failing business, so for most of the time it was just the manager and I. I was a virgin 19-year-old student off for the summer, and she was a 36-year-old divorcee with a hysterectomy.

The business closed, and she was going to move to a different town. I went to help her move, and she started telling me that she had some boxes in the bedroom that needed moving. As soon as we get to the room, she throws herself at me. We banged 4 times that day.

She moved out of town, and would fly me to her new place for sex. Every weekend I went, I would come home with a penis that was so sore it hurt to walk.

I visited her all the way up until I started dating my wife. I still have a friendship with her, but it’s no longer physical.

TLDR: lost my virginity to my boss.”
whtwebb


20. I snatched up my female friend’s panties and gave them the biggest sniff imaginable.

“I was at a female friend’s house when I was 16. We were just friends. Not even particularly close. Anyway, I popped into her bathroom to take a piss before rolling out, and saw a pair of her panties in the hamper. Being a piece of shit, I snatched them up and gave them the biggest sniff imaginable.

I instantly regretted it.

That shit was rank, y’all. Like ‘I’ve been wearing these and sweating into them for five showerless days’ rank.

I got what I deserved.”
Jrubas


21. I have succeeded in sucking my own dick.

“I have succeeded in sucking my own dick. Many times. But every time I did it, I regretted it because my chest and back REALLY fucking hurt the day after.

No, I didn’t finish in my mouth.

Yes, it felt like getting your dick sucked, as long as you focus on that part and not that you have a dick in your mouth…”
1neverusingthisagain


22. I slipped nude Polaroids of me into women’s books at the library..

“When I was a teenager, an elderly neighbor lady asked me to house-sit and take care of her dogs while she went on vacation. It was great, I just sat around and smoked pot most of the time. One day I noticed she had a Polaroid instant camera and lots of film sitting around, and I got naked and took a bunch of nude pictures of myself in the mirror, mostly full body pics except for my face, and always with a hard-on, and a bunch of pics of my hard dick (this was in the late 1970’s BTW, it wasn’t like today when you could just take a cellphone pic). So days later, I was sitting home with this stack of selfie nudes… what should I do with them? I was too worried that my parents, my sister, a burglar- who knows- would find them and know what I looked like naked (I was still a very shy virgin at the time). I didn’t want to just throw them away, that would be a waste of such sexy pictures. I wanted someone to see them ( a woman, of course), but not anyone who knew me.

So I went to the local library, and I started browsing through books women usually read- sewing, knitting, baking, etc.- and I’d slip one of the pictures in each book until the stack was gone. As I finished placing the pictures in the pages, I remembered that one of my hot MILF-Y neighbors frequently checked out books like that from the library, I’d seen them in her house many times. I panicked, and I almost went back to try and remove the photos, thinking that she’d somehow recognize me, or the interior of our mutual neighbor’s house. But after thinking about it, I got incredibly aroused thinking that she just might see those pictures, and even if she didn’t know it was me, that she’d get turned on by them and pleasure herself to my pictures, that became a regular masturbatory fantasy for the next few weeks.

This happened 35 or 40 years ago, and I still wonder if any of those pictures are still out there, either saved in someone’s nightstand drawer or still tucked away in a book about how to crochet a sweater.”
mythr0waw8y


23. Classrooms at my church wasn’t used outside of Friday Bible study and Sunday school so it was my go-to spot for sex during HS.

“Classrooms at my church wasn’t used outside of Friday Bible study and Sunday school so it was my go-to spot for sex during HS, often with girls from the same Sunday school group.”
badassmthrfkr


24. I had sex in public while homeless guys jerked off.

“So I read about how to score with girls, took CBT courses for anxiety, went on an OKCupid date. Dinner, bar which previously gave me anxiety. Conversation going well. Brush up against her, she likes it. Hand on thigh. Oh yes. She asks if I live in the city, I say no I drove here. She says let’s go to your car.

So we’re busy in the car, having sex in the front seat and homeless men approach. I tell her there are people and she said that’s hot. I turn around but she says no and we resumed sex.

That is how I had sex in public while homeless guys jerked off.”
yoohoodoodly


25. I jerked off to the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall.

“I jerked off to the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall. Class trip in 6th? Grade. The theatre was cold and my whole class was using their jackets as blankets. I had a huge down bubble jacket that was like having an invisibility cloak. I was nearly caught by my friend to my right who asked if I was OK and said he could feel my shaking elbow on our shared armrest. I told him I was freezing. He gave me his coat on top of mine. After I came I told him I wasn’t cold anymore and gave him back his jacket.”
Jellyeleven


26. I sucked my brother’s dick.

“I shared a room with my older brother for most of my childhood. When we were pretty little, we used to stay up together when we were supposed to be in bed. Most of the time that involved me going in his bed and watching him play Gameboy all night.

One night, however, when I was probably 4 or 5, he asked me if my dick ever got hard randomly. I told him yeah, and something about how I thought that meant it was growing. Somehow this slowly escalated to him showing me his dick and I have the vaguest memory of him convincing me to suck on it. I sucked my brother’s dick.
ChewsOnRocks


27. I was an unknowing facilitator of a cuckold fantasy.

“I was an unknowing facilitator of a cuckold fantasy. I met a girl on a dating site who was in an ‘open relationship.’ We pretty much established we were going to hook up and fuck because I had been dumped recently and was in a total man whore, gonna get my freak on rebound phase. We met at a bar and she said her boyfriend was at work but he knew she was on a date. Went back to her place and started banging and turns out he was actually there in the other room jacking it to our sounds. He ended up making noise after I was done and getting ready to leave and I inquired and she opened up about it. I wasn’t hurt or felt used or anything (I mean, it was a straight up let’s banging it out and say goodbye meet up). The ultimate NSFW is that I wished he’d come into the room and watched me dom the hell out of his girlfriend ;)”
ohmygramsci


28. I used to have sleepovers with this one girl and I used to lick her asshole.

“When I was younger I was exposed to pornography. I didn’t know what it was but I was intrigued

(I’m gonna blame my shit father for allowing his 6 year old son to find this)

So I noticed the man was going down on the girl. But I saw it as he was licking her bumhole.

So I used to have sleepovers with this one girl and I used to lick her asshole, her ass, and once, her vagina (outside of it).

I realized as I got older how fucked it was.

I regret it so much because I literally molested her in her sleep.

Never told anyone and never will because of how fucked up it is.”
ThrowMeAwayWenUrdone


29. As a kid I use to go in the woods and masturbate ’til I couldn’t cum anymore then eat it.

“As a kid I use to go in the woods and masturbate ’til I couldn’t cum anymore then eat it. I’m a guy.

I also use to ‘fuck’ the leather chair we had and what did I use for lube? My parents piña colada lube. I fucked that chair up.”
Pm_Me_Ur_Fun_Buns


30. I defiled the innocence of Disney World.

“My girlfriend blew me on Spaceship Earth at Disney World.

During my senior of high school, my girlfriend and I went on a school trip to Disney World. I was 17 and used to getting off at least day, but was unable to because there was basically no privacy or time for sex or masturbating. My pipes were backed up.

On the 5th and final day, we were at Epcot. There was basically no one in the park and we headed towards spaceship earth. It is a dark and slow moving ride that is constantly moving in a circle. With no one in our line of sight, we start making out and she goes down on me. Within 30 seconds, I blow the biggest load of my life. She lifts her head with her cheeks puffed out and her hand cupping all my extra jizz. She turns and spits SPLAT and flicks her hand SPLAT. She slowly turns back with an incredulous look and says, ‘Oh my god. That was. So. Much.’ 🙂

I defiled the innocence of Disney World.”
Whatsgoodbro


31. I fucked my landlady when I was 21 and knocked her up.

“I fucked my landlady when I was 21 and knocked her up. She aborted and I was sad. Her daughter moved in with her downstairs and I started a sexual relationship with her too. This is a tiny part of an epic long story involving 3 pregnancies 2 abortions and a lot of bad choices (I am in my 40s now, and have grown up since I was 20.)”
misery_man


32. My sister and I used to play a game called ‘I bet you won’t.’

“My sister and I used to play a game called ‘I bet you won’t.’ The game mostly consisted of us doing things that would piss our parents off… but seldom it would be a game of exploring our sexuality. We were around 8 and 9 years old at the time and probably didn’t know any better. during these progressive times, we would flash our genitals at each other and ‘bet’ that the other would not +/-touch parts of out bodies…I still masturbate to those memories to this day.”
Icum4theMustache


33. I gave a guy head and liked it.

“I gave a guy head and liked it. I’m a guy.”
easyalpha4fun


34. One time I jizzed on my girlfriend’s mom’s dog.

“One time I jizzed on my girlfriend’s mom’s dog. It was like between the 3rd and 6th blowjob I had ever gotten, her parents were not home and I was on the edge of the bed while she was on the ground, anyways she is blowing me and right when I am about to burst she just matrix bullet dodges my load and it shoots like 4 feet back all over the dog that I didn’t realize was watching.”
youtrikkin


35. I got my first blowjob from my stepsister.

“I got my first blowjob from my stepsister. On the night of our parents’ wedding, down the hall from them.”
budgybudge


36. I love inserting things in my butt.

“I’m a completely straight, recently married dude, but I love inserting things in my butt. I started off small as a child. I’d put bobby pins in to make sure they’d come back out. Then I graduated to marbles, bouncy balls, etc. I kept going bigger, eventually putting lemons, apples and the like. I finally could fit whole soda cans. Then my fist, and this large glow in the dark dog toy. Pro tip, dog toys are totally sex toy copy cats. I use to bleed sometimes when I’d find a new object that stretched me to new limits, but not anymore. My wife knows about it, although it makes her slightly uncomfortable when I do it behind her back. She agreed to experiment with me later, she just wants to enjoy some less kinky stuff in marriage first. Not a single other soul knows about it.”
Trumpology

Check out the original article of 36 Men Confess The Kinky Sexual Secrets They’ve Never Told Anyone in its entirety http://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2017/01/36-men-confess-the-kinky-sexual-secrets-theyve-never-told-anyone/.

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