Ex-BFFs: 54 People On Why They Never Talk To Their Former Best Friend Anymore
1. He was hitting on my wife’s married sister at my wife’s funeral.
“He was hitting on my wife’s married sister…
…at my wife’s funeral.”
2. He fucked my wife.
“He fucked my wife.”
3. He started bullying me when we started high school.
“He started bullying me when we started high school.”
4. He (a schizophrenic) went off his meds again and killed his own dad.
“He (a schizophrenic) went off his meds again and killed his own dad.”
5. She always had bullied me, copied my homework, and told me I was stupid.
“She always had bullied me, copied my homework, and told me I was stupid. Was so depressed I tried killing myself, she told the entire school what I did.”
6. When a close friend of mine died, he joked about it.
“When a close friend of mine died, he felt that he didn’t need to support me at all and decided to joke about it. Haven’t spoken to him since.”
7. He didn’t invite me to his bachelor’s party.
“Got invited to his wedding, all night long I heard about how awesome the bachelor’s party had been and asked why I hadn’t come along—because I wasn’t invited or told about it.”
8. I let him move in and I found used syringes IN MY FUCKING SHOES.
“Let him move in because of issues at his home. Started missing money and found used syringes IN MY FUCKING SHOES.”
9. She told me she was friends with me only out of pity.
“She bailed on plans I had already paid for without an apology or anything, told me she didn’t ‘owe me an explanation,’ told me she was only friends with me out of pity, and then threatened to call the cops if I dropped her stuff off in person instead of having a friend do it. All within a 15-minute text convo.”
10. She directed her friends to rape me when I was passed out.
“I was partaking in some festivities (of the druggish nature) and when I passed out, she proceeded to take advantage of her fucked up boyfriend and other best friend, direct them to play with my body and give me oral live on chat roulette all while I was passed out. I shouldn’t have to mention to friends “Hey, if at any point I’m not conscious and can’t give verbal consent, don’t rape me please.”. The other two participants were very remorseful when they found out what they did, she thought it was hilarious and told us after we were all sober. She was a very emotionally abusive person in general, so when she told me what happened and was laughing, it wasn’t out of the question that she was just making it up to provoke me, so for about a year I went around thinking it was a joke. A fight broke out between one of the participants and one of my roommates and when I protected him I was hit with ‘WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PROTECTING HIM, HE FUCKING RAPED YOU,’ then I spent the day with my world turned upside down because I couldn’t believe I maintained these 3 friendships for a year, completely clueless. I spent the day confirming and getting the whole story…it fucking sucked. To this day she doesn’t think she did anything wrong because she didn’t participate in the actual rape. I think what she did was much worse.”
11. He’s the flakiest, most unreliable person I know.
“Long story short: I love the guy, I wish we saw each other more often, but he’s the flakiest, most unreliable person I know. He treats everyone like they’re barely worth his time. Make plans with the guy and it’s a coin toss whether he’ll even show up. I’ve known him for 10 years and it’s only gotten worse, but I learned long ago that it’s a waste of time to chase him.”
12. He was gay for me and made it super weird.
“He was gay for me and made it super weird. I didn’t mind (I wasn’t gay) but he sure did and reminded me every day. I went insane and long story short we don’t speak anymore.”
13. I lost my friends when my son died.
“I lost my friends when my son died. Instead of being supportive, they harassed me to come out drinking, or go to the bar. Like I had just been through a breakup and needed to go out. No, literally 24 hours ago I buried my baby in the ground ya fucks.
What is even more fucked, I said “I know you guys mean well but I don’t want to leave the house right now, my child just died. I am losing my mind. You can come over or even watch TV with me.” No one came, no one called. I was a bitch for shooting down going to the bar. Literally, the four girls I knew my whole life, bailed on me when I needed them the most.
It hurt. It hurts still but fuck them is all I can say. People’s true colors come out when you go through a tragedy and it sucks.”
14. He was hitting on my GF and then I caught both of them together.
“He was hitting on my GF and then I caught both of them together. Yeah. Never talked to either of them.”
15. His junkie girlfriend who was on probation stole $300 from me and abused my cat.
“His junkie girlfriend who was on probation stole $300 from me and abused my cat. He refused to believe she could do such a thing and got pissed off at me about it. Free blowjobs and housekeeping outweighed 20+ years of friendship.”
16. Walked in on him moments after he was finished fucking my (now ex-) girlfriend in my room.
“Walked in on him moments after he was finished fucking my (now ex-) girlfriend in my room.
Karma was nice, though: he blew out his knee and can no longer play his sport professionally, I lost a lot of weight, and she found most of it.”
17. She never initiates conversations.
“‘I feel she doesn’t want to talk to me…what would happen if I stop initiating conversations?’”
Many months later, haven’t heard a single word from her.”
18. I told her the truth about her boyfriend cheating on her, but she believed his lies instead.
“I deserve this one.
I set a good girl friend up with a close guy friend. Ngaww.
Then he started cheating on her. He thought since I was his mate he could tell me and I wouldn’t tell her. Except…she was my friend too. I ended up basing my decision on a personal experience where an ex had cheated and everyone knew except me, how devastated and betrayed I had felt.
So I told her the truth.
She confronted him and his reply? ‘Shit. Don’t listen to her. She’s just fucking jealous. Just played matchmaker to get closer to me.’ Etc.
She believed him. So did my circle of friends on her side and his side.”
I never quite got over that.
19. I needed emotional support during a very tough time and she wasn’t interested in helping.
“We grew apart. I needed emotional support during a very tough time and she wasn’t interested in helping, so I ended it.”
20. She’d only really message me if she wanted something.
“She’d only really message me if she wanted something.
If she was down I’d try my best but if I was upset it was ‘oh I’m really not in the right place right now, talk later’ which is fair enough but I always tried to help her.
She’d also message me screenshots of the argument with her boyfriend, they’re a shit couple and my advice is always either ‘dump him’ or ‘talk it out’ which is never what she wants to hear but what am I supposed to do about it? I guess she just wants validation she’s right to be annoyed but she can be really unreasonable sometimes.
Oh and then she asks for money under some bullshit pretense and then buys weed. I know I shouldn’t fall for it and I’ve stopped now but y’know.”
21. He slept with my girlfriend and sold his sister’s virginity to a guy for $100.
“He slept with my girlfriend and sold his sister’s virginity to a guy for $100. She was mentally unhealthy and immature on a diagnosable level, and he talked her into it telling her it was normal and that it would make her less anxious around people, and of course she believe him because he was her older brother.”
22. The drugs they give him make him a completely different person.
“He was taken to a mental hospital, and the drugs they give him make him a completely different person.”
23. My best friend ghosted on me.
“My best friend ghosted on me. We met in 3rd grade and were thick as thieves until I went to college. While I can recognize I wasn’t the greatest friend always, it was 100% her choice to stop being my friend. I admit—it still hurts nearly a decade later. I never got closure, and I doubt I ever will. I’m not sure she has thought out why or would give me the honest truth if I asked. She should have been my maid of honor, and it makes me really sad when I think of that. I try to remind myself that she caused drama for me—she was really passive aggressive and wouldn’t talk to me when I did something to bother her. She also never opened up to me about anything bothering her in other aspects of her life. I don’t need that back in my life. But I do miss the great times we had—all the inside jokes, the way we knew what was on each other’s minds—we absolutely killed at the game taboo!—and I have never gotten that close with anyone again. But I did read a really beautiful sentiment recently, which I will try to capture here. The people you have in your life grow and occupy space in the tapestry that makes up your life. When they are gone, it makes a hole where they used to be. The memories and love are still there and may always be there. So don’t look at your tapestry as filled with holes—look at it as your own unique lace pattern. The pattern isn’t over, but it is constantly changing. The pain of loss doesn’t ever really go away, but it does lessen over time.”
24. He became a domestic abuser. No thanks.
“He became a domestic abuser. Started hitting his girlfriends in high school. No thanks.”
25. She’s an eternal party girl, she just never grew up and now we can’t connect.
“She’s an eternal party girl, she just never grew up and now we can’t connect. She still runs around with young 20somethings and gets trashed for entertainment. I met up with her for lunch about 5 years ago. She showed up late, hungover, and wearing the clothing she wore partying all night which was drenched in booze and stunk.”
26. I realized that I only talked to him because I had no one else to talk to.
“Because I realized that I only talked to him because I had no one else to talk to. I say that but honestly he was the only one to talk. Didn’t care about what I had to say.
Ended that ‘friendship’ really quick. Moved schools, met a new group of friends and haven’t looked back since.”
27. She was never able to talk about anyone but herself.
“Being around her became very draining.
She was my best friend since kindergarten. She was never able to talk about anyone but herself, and eventually, the only jokes she’d make were severely self-depreciating (about her weight, her depression, all her flaws—serious things that I could not laugh about and brought the mood down every time). She had social anxiety so we were never able to go out and make new experiences together, and while I tried so, so hard for so many years to keep her actively included in group activities, she just did not cooperate—but complained when I didn’t do it. All of our conversations ended up “remember when we did this?”, half-laughing at stale, decade-old in-jokes, and playing single-player video games that she wouldn’t share; I was supposed to think watching is just as fun (it worked like this our whole lives. We’re 20 now.). Her goal is to never leave her parents’ house and be on welfare the rest of her life (they enable this).
I basically ghosted when we graduated high school. I feel terrible, but I felt worse when I had to look after her.”
28. She dropped me because of a boy.
“She had just gotten a boyfriend and started work. Obviously these are big things in a person’s life, so I assumed that we wouldn’t be as close as we were once. But she took it to the extreme, her boyfriend was her life.
He worked FIFO, so when he was away she would finally come and see her friends, except I wasn’t included in her friend group anymore. Her work friends were her only friends.
I messaged her (only because she was ‘too busy’ to meet up with me) and asked her if there was something I did wrong. She said no, and although I didn’t really believe her I didn’t let it bother me and just strived to be the bestest friend I could be.
I started to get really fed up when the rare times we caught up, all she could talk about was her boyfriend. Which was okay, but I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.
Eventually I never saw her anymore. This was five months of not seeing or hearing from her. We had a seven-year long friendship, and to see it end like this really fucking hurt. I still think about how we met—I walked her home because the school bullies were following her around and threatening her. I was always there for her and to see her drop me because of a boy and a job at fucking Target is so fucked.”
29. Dropped me at the first sign of a boyfriend.
“Dropped me at the first sign of a boyfriend. Lied to a guy about the paternity of her unborn child. Several abortions because she couldn’t be asked to manage her contraception. Borrowed money and never paid back. Had a new boyfriend every week. Cheated on every guy she got into a relationship with. Refers to herself as a ‘princess’ and a ‘brat’—at nearly 30 years old.
I just don’t need that shit in my life.
I want a friend on a mutual maturity level, with some morals, and their own money—I didn’t work my ass off while you bummed around, to get a good job, to then finance her!”
30. He was a drug-addicted loser who owes me like £3000 pounds.
“Drug-addicted loser that didn’t pay any rent or bills for like six months ‘I’ll pay you back soon dude, I swear’ while simultaneously buying hundreds of pounds (£) worth of drugs, not talking to me unless he wanted something and leaving the house an utter shithole.
Asshole owes me like £3000 pounds, I wrote it off as my cost of getting rid of him when I moved out, he never would of payed it back anyway. We were friends for 10 years, haven’t spoken to him since.”
31. She was always one-upping me, comparing us and making herself feel better about her appearance.
“She was toxic. Always one-upping me, comparing us and making herself feel better about her appearance, always leaving me for other ‘best friends’ and telling them all of my personal shit…the list goes on.”
32. I found out my ex had been cheating the entire time with her.
“My best friend in high school. We were inseparable. I cried really hard when she moved away just before senior year. I kept in contact with her constantly.
Then we grew apart a little. Life happened, and then after I got out of a very abusive relationship I found out my ex had been cheating the entire time with her. I told her what had happened with the abuse, and she didn’t believe me.
Our relationship was damaged, but I didn’t cut her out. It wasn’t until she joined some kind of religious garbage that I finally cut her out. She began posting some vile things against Obama during the whole Hobby Lobby fiasco, and I reminded her that bc pills weren’t used for just birth control. I used mine to control ovarian cysts, and it wouldn’t be right to cut so many women off by removing it from insurance. She responded that babies were far more important than me developing another large cyst, because they were “innocent” and I was not.
I told her to fuck off permanently after that.
I should clarify that they cheated emotionally. They sexted often as I was told.”
33. She got into a super SJW crowd.
“She got into a super SJW crowd…we used to be able to talk candidly about anything and now it’s like walking on eggshells talking to her. She also made no effort towards the friendship the last couple of years, but would text me every 3 months or so ‘I’m so sorry I’m such a shitty friend, thanks for being there for me’ so I stopped responding with an ‘it’s alright, life can be hectic’ and instead just replied with a ‘yep.’”
34. He cut me out of his life.
“He cut me out of his life.
He was my best friend for 15+ years. We had grown a bit apart due to different lifestyle choices, but we always spoke at least once a week and found time to spend with each other.
He was constantly talking about feeling stuck in our home town and wanting to explore the world, but worried about paying for it. About two years ago I helped him get a job with my company. It was not a very exciting job, but it paid twice as much as he was making before, so I figured it would help him save up for traveling.
About six months into the job, we were working together and got into an argument. We had fought a few times in our friendship and this did not seem any different than other times; I was over it by the time I went home.
He missed the next 2-3 days of work, then emailed our manager saying he quit. He removed me from all of his friends lists, and will not respond to phone calls, text messages, or emails. I admit I am not the easiest person to get along with at times, but after a 15-year relationship I would have liked to at least said a proper goodbye.
It has been 18 months since he’s talked to me. He was my guy and now most days I feel alone.”
35. She enjoyed belittling me whenever we argued over something.
“She enjoyed belittling me whenever we argued over something and not only put details of said arguments online, she twisted it to make me look like I was 100% at fault and painted herself as the victim. She did that to everyone, and she probably still does. She picks fights over such minor things and involves herself in things she shouldn’t.
The last straw, however, was her insulting my fiancée. Once we both blocked her, she found out via a different account that she had made it public as she always does. We then started getting threats from her, which just confirmed we made the right decision in kicking her out of our lives. I had wanted to leave for years but I was too scared to go.
I knew her for eleven years. She’s nine years older than me (33) yet her maturity levels are way behind for someone of her age. During the years we were friends, she didn’t mature in the slightest and I don’t believe she ever will. Part of me feels sorry for her actually.”
36. He would put me down in front of other people.
“He was nice, when it was just us two,
But a prick, when others came too,
I thought he liked my presence and company
Only later did I see, his need to belittle me
I mistook his putdowns as acts of friendship
and thought it was me, who was just supposed to take it
I was the fat guy and him the fit
Looking back, it did seem odd, a tad bit
I moved away to study more
He stayed put, to take in drinks galore
I thought it was a farewell, goodbye
But little did I expect, to completely forget the guy
For true friends did I really meet
People who were just nice and not for a treat
Way past the need for love and fame
They wouldn’t care, even If I was lame
Joked and laughed till we cried
Wouldn’t regret even if that second we died
They showed me what was true bro love
Made me feel, like a finger in a glove?
Looking back, I wonder if it was a waste
A friendship that I had taken as the best, in haste
No matter now, time has flown
I’m sure, even he has grown
With friends like mine, I’m in the best of it.
For they wouldn’t hesitate to say, this poem is shit.”
37. I realized that I was the only one really giving my all in our friendship.
“I realized that I was the only one really giving my all in our friendship. She didn’t care and didn’t bother, I was sort of a filler friend to her. The worse part was she laughed along when someone else made fun of me! Sometimes I kinda miss the times we shared but I guess I needed to be better to myself :’)”
38. He told me to break up with my girlfriend, then started hitting on her.
“He told me to break up with my girlfriend at one point and when I did he hit her up and started hanging out with her.”
39. He got rejected by a girl and suddenly became very depressive and shut in.
“He got rejected by a girl and suddenly became very depressive and shut in. We tried to support him but he didn’t want to go out, or have any relation with our group of friends. With time things gold cold and we barely speak to each other anymore. He’s 27 and still living with his parents and doesn’t work or study, and barely walks out his house. It’s sad but we got tired of trying to drag him out.”
40. She became addicted to heroin.
“She became addicted to heroin. I tried to help her but she just became a totally different person…stole from me, amongst other things. I miss her :(”
41. He was massively rude to my girlfriend.
“He was a massive dick and was massively rude to my girlfriend over a weekend and completely blanked her after inviting us over before he got massively drunk and passed out, leaving us downstairs with his fiancé, so very awkward. The last time I spoke to him I told him I wasn’t going to be his best man anymore at his wedding, which was last May, I sometimes miss seeing him as a friend but there’s no excusing blanking someone like that, it’s just rude.”
42. She turned out to be a crazy, paranoid bitch.
“She turned out to be a crazy, paranoid bitch. Was 100% convinced that the intelligence agencies were spying on her, that her phone was tapped and that they were following her. I’m like honey you are not that interesting. She was anxious, depressed and refused to get help. Fought constantly with her therapists until they all sacked her as a patient. At this time, I was undergoing my own fight with newly diagnosed bipolar disorder, so hanging out with her was setting back my own progress (dissing my taking medication, telling me seeing a psych was a waste of money etc.) so I cut her off.”
43. He tried to get me into a threesome with his girlfriend—against her wishes.
“This happened fairly recently and he still tries to contact me like nothing’s wrong.
His girlfriend rings me up, asks if I’d be up for a threesome. Sure I say (major dry spell on my part and she’s cute as hell), just so long as you and he are 100% OK with the idea. No problem, they’ve spoke in detail about it I get told.
He starts organizing it like it’s a staff meeting at work, even tried setting up for 10am on a Tuesday. Not a fucking chance. It doesn’t work like that surely, just get drunk one night and see if it happens right?
Few days later I get another call from his girlfriend, she’s freaked out by all this organizing he’s doing, I know the feeling and we talk for a while, right up until the point when she confines into me that she isn’t and never has been 100% consensual if this whole thing and that he’s forced her into this.
I’m sorry, what?
I flipped. Hard. This guys supposed to be my best friend and he nearly convinces me to have sex with a girl that ain’t fully committed, fully aware of the fact that she isn’t fully committed. In my eyes that’s just rape.
Haven’t spoken to him since.”
44. She fell into the wrong crowd. I didn’t.
“We were best friends in school, but then something happened and we were sent into separate schools. She fell into the wrong crowd. I didn’t.”
45. I was sick of having a one-sided relationship.
“I was sick of having a one-sided relationship with my best friend. She would call all the time to complain about her life (and get irate if I didn’t answer right away, even when I was tending to my sick child), but I wasn’t allowed to have any problems. On the few occasions I tried to talk to her about an issue I was having, she would ask me why I was complaining about anything, since my life was so “perfect” (never mind that the last time I tried to confide in her it was because my mom had had a heart attack… but nope, not allowed to complain).”
46. EVERY time he found out I was interested in a girl he would try to chat her up or sleep with her.
“EVERY time he found out I was interested in a girl he would try to chat her up or sleep with her, even if he’d previously said she wasn’t attractive before realizing I liked her. He did this at least six times.”
47. I became a Buddhist and she became a fundamentalist Christian.
“I became a Buddhist and she became a fundamentalist Christian. I tried but soon realized keeping her at a distance was the healthiest and most compassionate thing I could do; eventually she realized I would not engage her when she started trying to convert me and talking badly about my spiritual choices and we just faded out. It something I feel sad about as we were very close friends.”
48. She wrote a letter apologizing for all the ‘sinning’ she did in college.
“She wrote a letter apologizing for all the ‘sinning’ she did in college.
Drinking underage, having sex with guys at parties, her body piercings… etc.
I didn’t need a letter. She didn’t force me to have fun with her. I didn’t regret our college fun. Just seemed pretentious and waaaaaaay too far down the religious rabbit hole for me to continue.”
49. I left the cult we were both in.
“He was my best man at my wedding, and I was at his. We no longer talk because I left the cult we were both in. I finally was able to break the chains of blind faith, but he was not. He was conditioned to think non-cult members are Satan’s tools.”
50. He convinced my girlfriend of two years to break up with me and date him.
“He convinced my girlfriend of two years to break up with me and date him. In the end he did me a favor but how can I trust him with anything after that?”
51. He became a huge pothead and I became a huge drunk.
“He became a huge pothead and I became a huge drunk. Kinda funny how those can separate us.”
52. I got him a job, and he stole from the company.
“We’d been friends for 14 years. He was in a really tough place after breaking up with his then girlfriend. I was working a steady job and suggested we hire him. Everything was going really well. A few months pass and they train to become a bartender. A couple days after his training shifts they realize money went missing from the safe. (Only bartenders and managers know the combo) There was video proof of him going into the safe and stealing $100. He also lied to a coworker and got her to give him $50. I felt like absolute shit. Thought everyone at work hated me. I apologized to the girl he “borrowed” money from and my managers so many times. He didn’t reply to my texts for almost two weeks. When he finally did, his reply was “shut the fuck up. You know you can’t stay mad at me. We’ve been friends for too long. Shit happens. They’ll get over it” Spoken to him once since that conversation. He texts me but I don’t reply. Sucks but I can’t have someone like that in my life.”
53. He became a right-wing evangelical Christian.
“He became a right-wing evangelical Christian. This was the guy that introduced me to George Carlin, The Beatles, Metallica, Weird Al and the Rocky Horror Picture Show. He was a gifted writer that focused on dark comedy and loved learning new things about the world. He was my best friend from the time I was 6 until we graduated college.
He grew up in a Southern Baptist church; after he got his masters he moved back home and became indoctrinated. Now he listens to Christian music only, believes the earth is 6000 years old, thinks gays are disgusting and that science is mostly wrong. It kills me to think about how much he has changed.”
54. He wanted me to be jealous of him as if life was some kind of competition.
“Every time I’d talk to him he’d gloat about how awesome his life is and how much better he was doing than me.
It was pissing me off because I could tell he wanted me to be jealous of him as if life was some kind of competition.
My wife started to notice it too so she told me he wasn’t invited to our wedding. After I didn’t invite him we fell out and haven’t spoken since.”
Check out the original article of Ex-BFFs: 54 People On Why They Never Talk To Their Former Best Friend Anymore in its entirety http://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2016/11/x-people-on-why-they-never-talk-to-their-former-best-friend-anymore/.